Marriage - Saving Your Marriage Tips - Could The Lack Of Compromise Be What's Really Causing All The Problems?

Are the issues surrounding the possible demise of your marriage as big as you and your spouse are making them out to be? Is it possible, that one of you is a little more than unwilling to compromise or being just down right unreasonable? The reason I ask, is sometimes this stubborn attitude towards your spouse about issues in your marriage is exactly what's standing in your way of having a happy marriage. So, how can you overcome this and what is good compromise?

Well, let me be the first to tell you, there are some issues or demands made by spouses that are just not right in marriage. Meaning, there are some things that no one would blame you for not coming to some sort of compromise or meeting in the middle. But, more than not, there are a lot of simple things that can stand in the way of a happy marriage if you are unable to meet your spouse in the middle.

First, let's rule out a few of the more outlandish demands spouses may make and why they will disrupt a potentially otherwise happy marriage.

• Your spouse has suddenly become set on the idea of having an "open marriage", where one of you thinks that bringing someone else home with you at night is spicing up your marriage. Where you are now possibly questioning your values or are at risk of losing them all together. If you didn't enter your marriage on these terms, there's really no reason for it to be an ultimatum now.


• Suggesting that you be apart of some new addiction that is disrupting your lives. There shouldn't be any compromise on this. If you're spouse has become addicted to drugs, alcohol, or some other form of possibly dangerous behavior, you shouldn't feel in any way obligated to participate to keep the marriage alive. It will only lead to a further downward spiral in your marriage.

While these are just a few of the major examples of what could be considered outlandish requests to compromise, there are many simple things that can appear this way as well, but should really be worked out. Some of the more simpler things are as follows.

• You or your spouse may have carried the bulk of the decision making when it comes to many things. In fact, to your spouse over time it can seem down right unfair. This is one of those problems that can spill over into many aspects of your life and escalate many problems as well. It is definitely something you should try to compromise on and find a happy medium. Baby steps at first on this one, so that it allows an easy transfer of power for the both of you and not put either one of you in shock so to speak.


• Parenting can be another issue that can drive a wedge in between the both of you and it kind of fits in with decision making. You may both butt heads on this one, as you both may have very different ideas or views on parenting, usually brought on by the way you were raised. This is another issue that could use some settling on middle ground. As it's important for you both to have a hand in it, and not just one who is dominate.


• How you treat and view one another. This can be many things. One spouse may feel that they go out of the way to make sure the other spouse knows how they feel about them while the other falls short constantly or thinks it is a given. If lack of attention or paying mind to the little things is causing problems in your marriage, you should do your part to meet your spouse in the middle on this one as well.

Nobody ever said marriage was going to be easy. If you fell for this or had some misconception before hand about it, I hope you begin to see somewhat that marriage should fall somewhere in the 50/50 range. Sometimes, 49/51, but otherwise fairly even to maintain a happy marriage. Don't let your stubbornness be the downfall of your marriage, if you truly love your spouse then although it may be hard at first to compromise on some of the bigger issues, you really should do your best to meet in the middle.

Source: Ezine