Marriage - Hold On to Your Marriage

Once upon a time, marriage followed certain rules and each part had very defined roles to play in the family picture. With time, things have become more complicated. To be married is more than just to find someone with whom you can survive better. Now, we demand and expect love (forever), understanding (always) and many other things. Even though most of us have a pretty precise idea of what we want, the ways that lead there are still in the dark. How do you keep a happy marriage?

Marriage is a long journey and many of us meet problems on this way. Sometimes, it ends in divorce. Nevertheless, it doesn't have to. Problems are a part of life. We all have some and there is no reason why marriage shouldn't have its share. Many people choose to divorce, when they meet problems. In this case, they will never learn to cope with the conflicts that can and may arise in any relationship. There is a good chance, that their next marriage will go the same way, and the next again. You keep on getting the same problems, if you don't solve them.

In a relationship, you are not alone on the problems. You are two. That is a very good thing, in fact, because that means that, of course, you are two people who can create the problems, but you are also two people to solve them. That may end up making things easier for you.

Here are 12 points on which you can work to hold on to your marriage and to have a better relationship.

1) Accept: Accept that you are not perfect. That means, you have made a mistake before, and you will probably make a mistake again before Christmas. Accept yourself with your flaws.

2) Responsibility: Take responsibility for your emotions. No, it is not the fault of the other if you become mad at her (or at him), it is your own problem and your own emotion. How you feel is your responsibility, no one else's.

3) Sorry: If you make a mistake, don't hesitate to excuse yourself. You are human. You fail sometimes. Admit it when you do so you can work on it.

4) Excuse: Of course, don't be a doormat. But no need to hold a wound open and to keep on thinking of bad memories. If you choose to stay together, there might be things you will need to excuse. It will be the only way to move on.

5) Learn: You are no robot or machine. You can learn. You can change if you want. When you make a mistake, repair it if possible or, at least, learn from it so you don't do the same thing again.

6) Tolerance: Be tolerant of your partner. No one is perfect, not even her (or him). Accept this fact.

7) Respect: Respect is not fear.Respect is a positive feeling of esteem for the other. Don't be rude, don't insult the person with whom you live.

8) Communicate: There are few mediums out there. If something is wrong, tell it instead of letting the other guess your feelings or your thought.

9) Solve: Don't see every single thing as a problem that has to be discussed and voted on. However, pay attention to the problems and solve them together. Don't let the situation get worse.

10) Be attentive: You keep your knowledge updated, you work on the relation to your friends, you even update your computer, but very often, you don't keep your love for your partner updated. Keep on being attentive to each other.

11) Loyalty: Your partner is your best asset beside you. He or she may be the only one by your side if things go wrong. Be loyal to each other.

12) Share: To be together is to share many things: Love, happiness, smiles... the sad moments too. But it is also to share the dishwashing, the vacuum cleaning and other domestic work.

If you have problems together, check this list, if one or more of these points are forgotten. By working on them, you will be able to correct the problems and to live happily ever after.

Source: Ezine