I remember a female friend of mine called Mandy, who seemed able to captivate men with nothing more than a smile and a flash of her eyes. She was also tall, slim, an accomplished vocalist and a thoroughly nice lady. But it was the effect that she had on men that fascinated me.
When we attended a dance together, I watched her charm her way around the room and everyone she spoke to immediately became enchanted by her. Yet the interesting aspect for me, was the reaction of other ladies. Whereas many of the men didn‘t notice how well Mandy interacted with others, most of the women did and were clearly intrigued by her.
It struck me then that, Mandy whether deliberately or purely by accident, had mastered the technique of attracting men without any effort at all. Possibly, her physical attributes gave her the confidence to stand apart from the crowd.
It seemed to me that the other women fell into two groups. The first group were the glamorous, outgoing ladies who were seething (inwardly of course) at the effect she was having. The second group were the quiet, unassuming ladies who looked on with envy, but without malice and it was this group that I felt sympathy for.
It must have seemed to them that Mandy and girls like her, had it all, while they had little or none of that ‘it‘ factor. Yet, each and every lady had qualities that Mandy did not possess, yet which they curiously saw as no advantage to them whatsoever in attracting men.
I often use this anecdote when clients ask me to help "find me a man", because what they really want is to be like Mandy. Dynamic, glamorous and confident. They believe that this is the way to be if you want to attract a man. But, that is only ONE way to be and just as a short, curvaceous person is never going to be tall and slender, nor is a quiet and thoughtful woman going to become outgoing and gregarious. And that‘s ok, you just need to work with what you have and not try to be like or behave in the way that someone else does. Because chances are, trying to be like the person you most admire, will not work for you.
BUT, being like you, will work for you!
Back to the dance I was telling you about and the other ladies who were there.
I remember seeing a small and rather ordinary looking girl who clearly felt uncomfortable, but when she
laughed at something that one of her friends said, her whole face lit up and her eyes sparkled like diamonds. Yet she was totally unaware of how attractive she was.
A brunette who stay seated all evening with her handbag firmly on her lap, was obviously embarrassed about being overweight, yet her conversation was warm and witty and she spoke with such intelligence that I was completely smitten. So smitten that I invited her to dinner - but that‘s another story!
I could go and mention every woman in that room who thought that they needed Mandy‘s outgoing personality to attract men, but who, with a little confidence could have used their own assets to be just as compelling and just as fascinating.
Men and women have their preferences when it comes to selecting a partner and you will no doubt have attributes that other people find attractive. But you must have the confidence so showcase those attributes, otherwise you will disappear into the background and most men won‘t even notice that you exist.
You don‘t need to become an extrovert, but if you‘re shy, start to walk with your head held high and a firm stride. Practise making eye contact with people you know (even vaguely), say hello and flash them a killer smile. It‘s all about being approachable and giving off positive and friendly signals, so that you are at least on the radar of any attractive men with whom you come into contact.
These are small steps, but to someone who lacks confidence, they may be difficult ones. If you follow this advice daily, I promise that it will become easier - until it is second nature - and if you‘re struggling to find a man, these few changes would be a really good place to start.
There are many steps to attracting your ideal man, so if you‘re interested in sending your romantic life into the stratosphere, check out find me a man today.
I can guarantee that you will never look back!
Source: Ezine