Marriage - Staying Together When You No Longer Love Your Husband

Do you find yourself struggling to find a reason for staying together and often think "what happened to us"? Perhaps the only thing that is keeping you from leaving is the kids or financial security but even these reasons don't seem to be enough these days.

Well you and I know that this is not the marriage you want or dreamed of. I know that times change and so do people but things are supposed to get easier and better as time goes by.

If you have been unhappy with your husband and no longer think you love him it doesn't mean the end of your marriage. You might be getting close to the end but there is still time to turn things around if you want to. The question you have to answer is "do you really want to save your marriage"?

Can you relate to any of these marriage/husband issues?

• My husband never initiates any meaningful conversations with me. We only talk about what's in the news or a reality TV show but rarely about us.
• We only get intimate when and if I initiate the intimacy. I feel like I'm pressuring him into spending intimate time with me.
• He hardly notices any changes I make to my appearance, clothes, make-up, hair, accessories, etc. Other people notice and comment on my changes and my husband never does.
• I can't remember the last time we had a fun night out and enjoyed each others company.

I could go on but why continue to list problems when what you are looking for is a reason to stay married. There have been many women in your shoes and some have taken the perceived easy path and divorced.

I say perceived easy path because divorce is not always easy. In fact, it can be very complicated, and destroy families for generations. I'm not trying to scare you but if do find that divorce is your only option, please proceed with caution.

On a personal note my parents divorced and it was so nasty that my mom ended up giving my dad 3 bullets on his way out of the door and our lives. Don't feel sorry for him, he lived and since my mom pleaded self-defense she only received probation. Now, back to your situation.

If you want to improve your marital situation, I think you can, unless your husband is an insensitive, selfish moron. In that case, you should still try to inspire him to meet you halfway. At the very least, you will have no regrets because you gave it your all.

What should you do while waiting for your marriage transformation?

• Shake him up a bit. Your husband has probably become accustomed to your ways and probably assumes that he can read you like the back of his hand. If you want to begin to see some changes in your marriage, give him something different to read. Use your creativity to begin to give him a taste of how great your marriage can be again.
• Show him unconditional love. This is difficult when your husband probably has not shown any interest in being an equal partner and in-fact has been so selfish at times. If in the past you have confronted and challenged him on any and everything now might be the time to shift gears and back off just a bit. You can improve your marriage by loving him unconditionally.
• Keep working on your marriage and don't give up, despite how you feel. Love is a decision and so is staying married. Don't allow divorce to be a topic of discussion. Your only conversations should be about restoring your marriage.

You can keep your marriage together and restore the love, trust and respect you once had for your husband. It will take patience on your part but trust me you will be in-love again if that's what you work towards.

Source: Ezine