Marriage - Saving My Marriage - Why You Won't Be Able To Save Your Marriage Unless You Know This

You may be in the middle of a marriage crisis, but what you don't want to do is make things worse. In fact, it may seem at times that the harder you try, the more out of control things seem to get. You might even be wondering what it is that you're doing wrong or why it was so bad to do what you did. Maybe you're even wondering why everything you do seems to backfire. That's the whole purpose of this article, to hopefully explain a few things you should know about saving your marriage that may just save you from ruining your chances altogether.

You see, when you first hear this news or your spouse begins to bring up that ending the marriage seems like the best option, your world tends to flip upside down in an instant. For the most part, it puts you kind of in a state of shock. You can't believe what your hearing. Did those words really just come out of my spouses mouth? What about our problems is so bad that he/she would want to end all of these years and memories we've built together? These are just a few of the most common questions that come up when you start to think about it.

What happens next is, you kick into survival mode really fast. Almost as if you're backed into a corner and you've got to do what ever it takes. This can bring about a series of feelings that can begin to undermine even your best efforts. You start to panic even and can really begin losing control of yourself so to speak. You're filled to the brim with emotions so much that you don't know whether you're coming or going. You've become so confused as to what to do.

You have a pretty good idea of what went wrong or you're spouse has told you several things on their list of what went wrong. You try to make amends, making promises to change even. You may have flat out fell to the floor on your knees begging your spouse to stay in the marriage and give you another chance to make things right, but he/she doesn't want to hear it or continues to express that it's all to late. In fact, you've done just about everything you can think of to change your spouses mind, but none of it's working.

Would you like to know why?

Because it's still the same old you. Your spouse knows all of your tricks. You've probably used some of those promises to change in the past or reverted back to your old self after those promises were short lived. Your spouse see's the same old you. Never going to change, never going to make things right and always going back to the same way things were before.

What you need to know, is you have to create real change. Change that starts with you and your willingness to take action to make that change happen, regardless of whether or not you have your spouses acceptance or acknowledgment of making the change. Meaning, you need to start making changes right away, that have no ultimatums attached to them. Even if your spouse has said that they don't want to hear your false promises anymore or just flat out doesn't believe you, do it anyways.

You have to make that change. It's not going to be easy, and may even seem a little harder to do without any guarantee of reward, like saving your marriage. But, you will be amazed at how this will begin to play a huge part in saving your marriage even though your spouse has told you it won't. And, you don't have to do it alone. Don't make it any harder on yourself then it already is. Read up all you can about how to make marriage work, what kind of problems there are and how to fix them. There are some extremely cost effective resources that will help you work through change and how to best tackle your marriage issues. Do yourself a favor and take advantage of their invaluable insights into fixing a troubled marriage.

Source: Ezine