Relationship - The Three Cs of a Happy Marriage: Caring, Communication, and Change

Marriage is all about two people from diverse backgrounds coming together to form a new nuclear family. As single people, each of them had their own opinions, feelings, habits, and ways of doing things, and when they marry they have to learn to compromise. True, during the golden days of first love, you adore everything about each other, but with time, that euphoria disappears leaving the realities of everyday life. Often couples find themselves unprepared to deal with their feelings of disappointment that the romance and bliss are no longer parts of their lives, and the union can suffer severe rifts. Being truly and happily married for the long term takes a great deal of compromise on both sides.

Many marriages which appear to be sound are actually nothing but a facade. Often such issues as lack of financial resources to go their separate ways or the children are the only things keeping a couple together. This isn't a good situation for anyone and needs to be remedied. So how do you take a broken marriage and fix it? What can you do to avoid divorce? Think about how well the two of you communicate. Have there always been communication issues, or have they just developed in recent years as jobs and other interests have come between you? If you were able to talk together at one point in your relationship, you can still do it now.

Communication has become a lost art in our society today. Although people talk a lot, they are often hesitant to divulge the things that they are really feeling. They also can become so involved in their own problems that they never really listen when their spouse tries to talk to them about theirs. Obviously, in instances like this, the two people involved are going to grow farther apart. Resentment is going to grow as they each begin to feel that their spouse no longer cares about what's going on in their life. You can't possibly know how each other is feeling unless you both are willing to talk issues over calmly in order to come up with solutions.

The sense of self is strong in all of us, and it can get in the way of a close relationship if we allow it to do so. It's fine for you each to have your own interests and personalities, but when you married, you also committed to being a part of everything your spouse does, says, and is. For example, if you married a fisherman even though you don't care to fish yourself, you need to be accepting of your spouse's need to spend time in that pursuit. If you don't think you can live with the habit and the time alone, then it's something you should have considered prior to getting married. Now both of you need to adapt and become a part of each other's lives again.

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Source: Ezine


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