Relationship - How To Deal With A Difficult In-Law

Getting married to the one you love does not necessarily mean you'll be dealing with him or her solely. Remember the saying "marry me, marry my family?" In some cases when you're marrying a person who's very close to his or her family, you will have to learn to deal well with the other family members.

Having a lot of patience as well as a courteous, kind and friendly attitude will help you greatly in maintaining a good relationship with your in-laws moving forward. And although you have your moods, it's best to be consistent in your friendly nature. You have to at least take the effort to establish a friendly relationship with them if you want to maintain a sound marriage with your spouse.

Do understand that sometimes, there are people who measure their love for their spouses based on how you're dealing with their family members such as their parents and siblings. If you feel this is the case with your spouse, then you will need to do your part in maintaining a friendly relationship with your in-laws.

In the event there is one parent or sibling that depends often on your spouse and somehow makes life difficult for your family, marriage counselors suggest talking this out with your partner. You need to establish a boundary as to the extent you and your spouse are going to help your respective families particularly when it concerns finances.

You may have been contributing to the household bills when you were still single or helping your parents out but you can decide to stop this or contribute less when you get married. It's very important to open this up beforehand to your spouse to avoid future conflicts.

Also if you're having issues with an in-law, it's ideal to tell your partner right away. Tell your spouse that it's not your intention to hurt his or her feelings and that you're doing your best to be a good in-law as well. It's not about washing your hands to create a clean image to your partner. But when an in-law becomes difficult to deal with and is already interfering in your marriage, your spouse needs to take action to settle the issue.

Marriage therapists point out that honesty is vital in marriage. When you and your partner are honest about your feelings, thoughts and the things you do, it would be easy to understand each other. Keeping some things from your other half only breeds doubt and can negatively affect the trust you have for each other.

Open communication is always crucial in keeping your marriage intact. Talking things out in a cool and honest manner is most important in settling your issues and preventing conflicts.

Apart from the communication aspect, you need much patience and an attitude of humility. If you're able to develop these traits and maintain them moving forward, you have a good chance of living in peace and harmony not only with your beloved spouse and children but as well as with your in-laws.

For free marriage counseling, visit TalkAboutMarriage.com, a supportive community for marriage and relationship advice.