Are you feeling bitter that your marriage seems to have crashed and burned? Does this bitterness come into play in your relationship with your spouse? Do you feel that he or she is also taking out bitterness on you? Bitterness is a common feeling as couples become disillusioned with their erstwhile storybook marriages and have to learn to deal with the facts of everyday life, and yet bitterness is something that is going to harm your marriage and make it impossible to save. It's a cancerous emotion that will drive you farther apart and create a vicious circle of bad feelings. If you and your spouse are serious about trying to save your marriage, then you both need to work at stamping out bitterness in your lives.
Bitterness is often the product of resentment. You resent your husband for getting to play golf every Saturday when all you have to do is work, work, work. Your spouse resents you because you are friendly with male co-workers. These types of resentments can grow and fester inside you and will eventually make you bitter about the way life is treating you. And why do you suppose that you resent each other so much? It's most likely because you don't communicate your feelings with each other. It's far better to talk a situation through with each other than it is to just sit and brood about imagined problems. When you confront these problems head on, you have the opportunity to work through them and come up with compromises.
Lots of times your spouse won't even know he or she has done something wrong. Your husband enjoys unwinding by playing golf, and since you never say anything about it, he doesn't realize there's a problem. Giving him the cold shoulder when he returns from a round of golf isn't going to help anything. Instead, tell him how you are feeling and offer suggestions for ways you both can put the situation right. For example, you might suggest that he continue his Saturday morning golf games and then stay with the kids during the afternoon while you go shopping with friends. If he really cares about maintaining your relationship, he will be willing to make a reasonable compromise.
During each and every discussion that you have with each other regarding your differences, make sure that you both express your regrets for having doubted or upset the other. Be sincere, and each time you repeat this procedure, it will become easier.
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Source: Ezine