stress cripples your ability to accurately see and hear other people; be self-aware and in touch with your own deep-rooted needs; and communicate your needs clearly. When you’re stressed, your ability to listen and speak intelligently is impaired. Your mind can’t think clearly enough to remember the tips and use the appropriate tip to orchestrate your response.
Our stress responses are so powerful that, if we don know how to manage them, they can paralyze us emotionally and undermine even the strongest love or work relationships. Consider the following examples:
Irene’s new boss is giving her a hard time and to make matters worse, she’s not sleeping well. Cranky and anxious, she is in no mood to listen to her husband talk about his day. He feels hurt that she’s tuning him out, so he goes out for the evening by himself.
Joe is under a lot of financial pressure. He gets together with some friends after work, but his mind is preoccupied with his money problems. While Joe usually enjoys the playful kidding of his buddies, tonight it infuriates him and he explodes.
Terri is so overwrought by tensions with her mother that it’s affecting her work. She can’t seem to focus and her productivity has taken a nosedive. Her supervisor has noticed and warned her that if she doesn’t pull it together, he’ll have no choice but to let her go.
Stephanie is so jumpy and agitated from constant fighting with her husband that her coworkers don’t want to be near her. She thinks her colleagues dislike her, but they are just trying to avoid the waves of negative energy that radiate from her cubicle.