Whether we like to admit it or not we've all had a sexy dream or two. In slumberland anything goes, and if we're not having unbridled passion with Colin Firth, then we're fooling around with an ex, or worse still doing the deed with someone we hate!

What do sex dreams mean?

Journeying into the deepest erotic corners of our subconscious minds and pulling out the most thrilling but often bizarre scenarios, partners and behaviour, dreaming about sex stirs up powerful emotions which often stay with us for days after.

So why do these nights of unfettered passion with strangers, exes, friends or celebs happen, and what do they mean?

Dr Pam Spurr author of Sex Dreams and Symbols - Understanding Your Subconscious Desires* says: 'As with any dreaming, our sex dreams are very often about drawing our attention to issues in our lives and/or about 'cleaning the decks' emotionally during the sleeping process.'

When our dominant conscious mind goes to sleep, the subconscious mind is allowed to roam free and starts to assemble thoughts, emotions and experiences from waking life. If we have a strong urge to do something, it's often likely to emerge in our dreams where our conscious mind can't prevent it.

Dr Pam adds: 'Our dreams are there to draw our attention to the things we want and desire, or the things we dislike, things that may worry us, and so on. Of course some dreams are completely random images that have been strung together and don't have any real meaning.'

Add to this the fact that sex is one of the most powerful of all human drives, and it's hardly surprising that our dreams are heavily laced with sex and desires. And interpreting them can be an eye-opening experience!

While sex dreams are unique in their details and vary from person to person, there are some common scenarios which many of us will have experienced.

With a stranger

Dreams of having sex with a hazy figure are very common and can be very puzzling.

The stranger could have a face and be someone you believe you've never seen before or could be a completely blank person who is simply there to pleasure you.

Understanding your sex dreams

The fantasy bit:

This is something you probably would never do in real life so the fantasy comes in exploring a wild and erotic side without the real life consequences.

What does it mean?

Well, stranger sex can mean a number of things. The overall act of having sex with a stranger could mean a desire for more excitement and risk in your life. It may mean you want more passion and to seek new thrills with new people. It can be a way of showing you that you've got needs and desires you haven't yet confronted because you've been too over-protective of yourself. The stranger acts as a blank canvas for you to discover new things about yourself.

The stranger him or herself may also represent someone in your life you're trying to get to know on a deeper level but are struggling to make progress with - someone you want to find out more about. They may be a positive or negative force in your life depending on the emotions you feel in the dream.

Sex with your ex!

Dreaming of wild sex with an ex can be both a thrilling and upsetting experience.

Dreams like these can bring back floods of memories, reawaken old emotions, and if you're with a new partner can make you feel incredibly guilty and afraid that you still have feelings for your ex.

Understanding your sex dreams

The fantasy bit:

Your subconscious may not have caught up with your conscious mind, and may still harbour memories you thought you'd repressed or removed. Just because your ex has gone from your life, doesn't mean they're not still present in your subconscious thoughts.

What does it mean?

Recurrent ex sex dreams may mean you have some unresolved issues or have deep feelings you're not ready to let go of. If you have a brief encounter with an old flame it could represent anything you associate with him such as freedom, youth or passion. It can mean that you want to return to those things and that you want more spontaneity or excitement in your life. It can also represent discontent with the present and a nostalgic look to the past.

It might also be the case that you do want your ex back and this is your subconscious mind's way of releasing some sexual tension.

It could also simply mean that you've thought of your ex during the day and have reminisced about the good times you had together.

Have you had a dream you've cheated on your partner?

Fear not! Although you may wake up feeling guilty, dreams like these usually come after making a big decision about something such as getting engaged or moving in together. It's a sudden rush of all your insecurities and feelings of 'what if' flooding into your dream life. If you dream about your partner cheating on you this often is a sign of your insecurities about his/her commitment to you.

Gay sex dreams!

Dreaming about sleeping with someone of the same sex if you're not gay or a lesbian can be a confusing experience.

You may find it's a random person of the same sex, or it could be a friend or acquaintance.

Understanding your sex dreams

The fantasy bit:

Many psychologists believe we're all bisexual to some degree, and your dreams give you a chance to explore your hidden or repressed sexual desires in a fantasy world where anything goes.

What does it mean?

Dr Pam says: 'There are usually two main reasons why we dream about having sex with someone of the same sex, when we don't consider ourselves gay or lesbian. The first is that powerful feelings of friendship with people of your own sex get woven into sexual feelings and so a sexual dream is created. But this says more about the powerful connection you have with people of your own sex rather than wanting to experiment with a same-sex fling.
'But the second main reason for such dreams is a subconscious longing to try a same-sex relationship. This desire is symbolised in powerful, sexual imagery that can sometimes be very surprising.'

It may also mean that you need to be more in touch with your feminine side (masculine if you are male) and desire to feel more feminine.

Had gender bender issues during dreams?

If you dream you're a person of the opposite sex this can mean you're getting in touch with the opposing side of your psyche. If you're a woman dreaming about being a man you're accessing your more masculine qualities, if you're a man dreaming about being a woman you're getting into the female side of your personality.

It can also mean you're curious about experiencing sex from the other side, exploring what it would be like to be equipped with different bits!