Women want sex just as much as men, but most men have no clue when it comes to getting the whole process started -- namely, how to handle the very first conversation. If you don’t have a game plan, it’s easy to let one opportunity after another pass you by. Here are 10 tips to help you start conversations with attractive women EVERYWHERE.
Number 10
Start chatting up EVERYONE
Part of the very CORE of successfully starting conversations with women is BASIC social skills. It’s important to practice starting conversations with as many people as possible, then use those skills with women you’re attracted to. Take advantage of every situation you can to start conversations and connect with people -- don’t be picky. If you can talk about irony, make sarcastic jokes that are funny, or make the other person laugh, ALL THE BETTER. If you start five conversations a day for the next 90 days, you’ll have started 450 new conversations with strangers. This ALONE will go a long way to reprogram your instinctive “fear approach response.”
Number 9
Incorporate different places into your weekly routine
Most guys have schedules that don’t put them into close proximity with a ton of women -- and then they complain that it’s so hard to meet them. Alter your lifestyle just a tad to include locations and situations that make it easy to meet women. As part of the natural flow of your life, include a coffee shop near a busy shopping or business district, a restaurant that hires a lot of attractive women and has a lot of turnover, and a trendy shopping mall. When you do, you won’t believe how many opportunities you’ll have to hone your skills for approaching women.
Number 8
Stop worrying about going out alone
Most men feel like fools if they go out to meet women alone. They don’t like going to bars or clubs without a buddy or two because they have the irrational thought that women will think they’re losers because they’re not there with someone and they feel like everyone is watching them and judging them for being alone. But most of the guys I know who are the MOST successful with women actually PREFER to go out alone. Try this: Go out alone one night this weekend -- not to meet women, but simply to watch and notice that no one cares about you at ALL. It’ll be a liberating experience for you… trust me.
Number 7
Get a handle on fear
The fear of approaching a woman; the fear of rejection; the fear attractive women won’t like you; the fear of making a physical advance: These things are all UNIVERSAL -- almost all men experience them in one way or another. You need to realize that this stuff is natural and you CAN overcome it if you want. The first step is to stop putting too much importance on any one situation and start thinking long-term and of the big picture. Focus on learning the SKILL. Girls will come and go, but when you develop the skill of getting ANY girl, it will last a lifetime.
Number 6
Stay out of the “loop”
What do guys do when they see a woman they’d like to approach? They get stuck in “inaction loops.” In other words, they FREEZE. Why? Because they try to come up with something “original and charming” to say; they try to think of the perfect compliment; they imagine she’s not single and that she’ll react negatively; or they start thinking there’s no way in hell she’d be interested in a guy like them. Do whatever it takes to stay OUT of these deadly loops. A simple solution is to just walk over and use a standard conversation opener. Keep it simple -- don’t over-think yourself right out of the game.
Number 5
Remember keys to starting conversations with women
When you see a cute girl, it’s important to remind yourself of some simple rules about approaching: Always approach a girl within three seconds -- don’t procrastinate. Saying anything is better than saying nothing at all. You can only learn at worst, and lessons are priceless. If this one doesn’t work, there will be 100 more in the future. It’s all upside, and no downside. Remember these key points for approaching women and it’ll make chatting up hotties a walk in the park.
Number 4
Get through the first few minutes
Most men don't realize this, but 99% of the first few minutes of your conversation with any woman aren’t about HER, they are about her PERSONA. A woman will play all sorts of games to block your progress so she can slow things down and maintain control. The last thing she wants to happen is for things to get hot and heavy too quickly, which may cause you to lose respect for her -- at least, this is what she believes. Even if a woman really likes you, she’ll probably be resistant at first, play hard to get, and even act uninterested. Some women get nervous around men, especially when they’re attracted to him. Don’t take any of this stuff personally, just be patient and persist.
Number 3
Appeal to her “weird” side
Every woman has a weird, dorky, off-beat side, but most men don’t get to see or interact with this side for very long. The key is for you to know that this side of her is in there, and then to talk to it and draw it out by teasing, latching on when you see it, etc. This is part of the key to giving her the experience of “I feel so comfortable with you,” and giving her the feeling that she’s known you for a long time. One way to do this is to call her a dork or a spaz or even a brat until you feel her shift. When she suddenly realizes you’re talking to that dorky side of her that few other men can bring out of her she'll begin to feel much more at ease with you. When you reach that point and get past a woman’s persona, that’s when MAGIC happens.
Number 2
Get success minded
We humans often learn TOO quickly. If we have just one unsuccessful experience, we “learn” that what we did doesn’t work. If we have several of these negative experiences, we become CONVINCED whatever it is we've been doing doesn’t work. This type of reasoning can spill over into our self-images and we begin to think, “It must be ME that’s the problem… something is wrong with ME.” Many men try to start a conversation or two with women, but when things don’t go as planned they decide something is wrong with them and that they have “failed.” But the way to turn any failure into a success is to LEARN from it. Success-minded individuals don’t see failure when they don’t have success right away -- instead, they think, “This is the time when success is right around the corner.” Try this mentality on for yourself -- you’ll be blown away by the results.
Number 1
Rehearse your approach
It’s important to mentally rehearse first conversations with women -- especially when you’re first starting out. Plan what you’re going to say, how she’s likely to respond and what you’re going to do in each possible situation. Take the time to mentally rehearse all of the steps of the approach in detail; the words you’ll use and the voice tone and body language, too. Also plan for how you’re going to physically and emotionally respond to a woman who isn’t interested in talking to you, and practice how you’ll handle the worst possible situation that may come up. When you do, you’ll realize there’s nothing more for you to fear. So get out there and put your plan into action.