By AskMen.com
Ever wondered what blokes talk about when we're not around? Here's your chance to eavesdrop. iVillage and Askmen.com have joined forces to reveal what's really on men's minds - and just how bluntly they discuss it
When it comes to cheating, men are king. They cheat at cards, they cheat on their taxes, and far too often, they cheat on their partners. According to the Ashley Madison Agency, 50 to 60 per cent of men will engage in an extramarital tryst at some point in their lives
Their reasons are myriad, but the telltale signs of propensity for infidelity are typically the same. Gain insight into his potential cheating heart by reading the top ten signs he's about to have an affair.
1. He picks up women and gets phone numbers
He increasingly finds himself at clubs and bars resorting to his old tricks. He's turning on the charm, using his old pick-up lines and even bathing regularly again. Chances are he's even more successful than before because he has the safety net of a secure relationship to return to, and the confidence that comes with it.
2. He notices ads for escorts and signs up to adult sites
He begins searching for women who are up for a good time and are still eager to impress. These women might be less attractive than his current partner, but at least they still have that new-girlfriend smell. After all, he's not looking to settle down again, he's just looking to have some no-strings-attached fun.
3. He searches for arousal elsewhere
He finds himself increasingly drawn to pornography and strip joints, and not only for the chance to drink cheap beers and listen to 'Wild Thing.' The real issue, of course, is that he's no longer aroused by his partner. Perhaps he misses the spontaneity of when they first met, or maybe he can't get the image of her Days of the Week underwear out of his head. Whatever the reason, on those rare occasions he still has sex, he finds himself going through the motions, rushing through foreplay and finishing after only a few minutes (rather than the full five minutes he usually lasts).
4. He lets his girlfriend understand it's okay to cheat
By relaxing his moral code, he hopes his partner will be more understanding if she eventually catches him playing nude Twister with the cleaner. He suggests threesomes might be worth a shot, he tells her that monogamy is overrated, and he even tries to convincing her that he's one-third Mormon.
5. He has sexual thoughts of being with other women
Let's face it: If he's a living and breathing, red-meat-eating, football-watching man, he's bound to entertain thoughts of having sex with other women. If he didn't, no porn company in the world could ever operate in the black. When his mind starts to wander, however, it's only a matter of time before his body starts to follow. He might even find he's unable to perform with his partner unless he imagines she's someone else (should that someone else be Trisha Goddard, he might want to rush into therapy immediately).
6. He keeps his girlfriend a secret
When speaking with other women, he finds himself concealing the fact he has a girlfriend, even lying about her existence when asked. He enjoys receiving attention from these women and is reluctant to bring the conversation to a halt by admitting he shares his bed with a 200-pound behemoth who's beginning to look more and more like her mother every single day... or not.
7. He develops a relationship with other women 8. He is suddenly forgiving of his cheating friends 9. He feels trapped 10. He creates a web of excuses and stories Honorable Mention: He puts himself in prime situations for meeting women Cheating the System After all, once trust has been lost, it can never fully be regained. In the end, remember the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: 'It is impossible for a man to be cheated by anyone but himself.' Proceed cautiously in these delicate affairs of the heart.
It used to be the only time he truly opened up was when he was screaming at his TV during Match of the Day. Now all of a sudden he can't shut up. He finds himself seeking out sympathetic women and telling them all about his crumbling relationship. Be forewarned: Most women eat this kind of conversation up faster than a bowl of fat-free crisps. Emotional affairs like these are only one crying session and a couple of tequilas away from becoming a full-fledged physical fling.
Rather than condemning his buddies for cheating on their partners, he finds reasons to empathise. Sure, his best pal might be having an affair, but his girlfriend had it coming to her for putting on 10 pounds. So what if she was pregnant? He shares his friend's motivations and finds himself able to rationalise even their most caveman-like behaviour.
He feels completely ensnared and he's not even sure how it happened. One moment he was happily picking berries and catching salmon in the river, the next he's concealed behind glass in a five-foot enclosure and being viewed by hundreds of grubby schoolkids every day. Like any trapped animal, he resents his lack of freedom and is eager to return to the wild. Chances are he's also terrified that if he stays with his current partner she will be the last person he will ever have sex with (for free, anyhow).
Once reticent and quiet, he's suddenly become a better storyteller than Mother Goose. He never leaves the house without an alibi, and he's constantly lying about the women with whom he's been spending time. He may not have done anything yet, but he's clearly preparing himself for the day when he does.
He starts enrolling in salsa and cooking classes... by himself. Perhaps he finds reasons to work late and crunch numbers with that attractive (and slightly dimwitted) intern. Maybe he's even become the one male member of a feminist book club. The point is he's beginning to play the field more aggressively than Jonny Wilkinson.
Do these signs sound familiar? These sudden - and cumulative - changes in his personality, words and actions could mean he's planning to run into the arms of another woman. Before he does, however, he might need reminding that any relationship worth saving can be saved through open and honest communication and that affairs, however tempting, will undoubtedly blow up in his face.