Getting dating and relationship advice from women can have its obvious benefits. They're behind enemy lines -- they know the opposition and can offer a play-by-play on how to win a dating battle. Given their innate understanding of the female mind, it would stand to reason that women should be a man’s main source of intel, right? No -- about face, soldier! You have to realize that most women deal in half-truths when doling out pearls of dating wisdom. It's not a deliberate sabotage; it's simply a case of what women want and what they say they want not quite overlapping. Here are the standard-issue examples of advice you shouldn't take from women.
"Be yourself"
This isn't a total lie on the part of the hordes of women who say it. Many females fancy themselves mature individuals who want to see beyond the dating games into the real soul of the guy hitting on her. But let's be real; no one is their actual self when they're first meeting someone they're attracted to. If that were the case, women would go to bars wearing their comfy sweats and no makeup, and we all know that’s not what you’re seeing when you’re out on a Friday night. Women try to put out the best, shiniest versions of themselves when they're on the prowl, and they expect the same from you.
Bottom line: Girls want to get to know the real you, but only to a certain extent. Save the Battlestar Galactica obsession and ex-girlfriend sob stories for the fifth or sixth date.
"We're just looking for nice guys"
At its core, this is valid: No self-respecting woman wants to be with a total asshole who doesn't treat her right. But there’s more to it than that. There have been actual studies done (science time!) that suggest that a woman's conscious ideal of what she's looking for in a man (what she says she wants when she sits down and thinks about it) more often than not doesn't match the type of man she ultimately goes for when presented with real-life choices. Women think they want the unfailingly nice guy, but when it comes to their base instincts, they’re attracted to the guy who is just a little bit mysterious and a teensy bit arrogant -- at least at first. There's nothing like that initial chemical rush for a woman when a man approaches her not as Prince Charming but as a funny, confident guy who teases her just a little. Men aren't the only ones who like a challenge.
Bottom line: A guy who isn't fawning all over a girl the first time he meets her is much more attractive than an eager-beaver boy who weeps when watching Chocolat.
"I like that you have female friends"
While this isn't specifically a piece of advice you shouldn't take from women, it is a statement that you can categorically ignore. Women will deny it until the day they die, but they loathe most close female friends that you have. Your girl wants to be the only female perspective you need in life, apart from your mother. The idea that you could be talking to another girl about your relationship is enough to kick a woman's bitch-drive into high gear. This doesn't mean you should drop your female confidantes, but it does mean you have to know to tread lightly when the topic is broached, no matter how "totally cool" your girl says she is with it.
Bottom line: Keep your female friends way outside of the borders of your relationship, but when they do come up in conversations with your lady, be sure to throw around adjectives such as "ugly," "annoying,” “getting married.” Be creative!
“I don't really care about Valentine's day or anniversaries”
Deep down in your primal male subconscious, you know this is a lie. Yet somehow, hearing it from a woman’s mouth is so unexpected and inviting that you find yourself believing it. It doesn’t matter what your lady says with regards to these holidays built around romance -- she is hoping and expecting you to recognize them in some way.
Bottom line: Buy a calendar. Even if she really does think they’re dumb, you score triple points for not brushing a special event off anyway. Everybody wins!
remember that grain of salt
When women dole out dating advice, they try to help you with the best of intentions. The only problem with following women's advice is that sometimes their minds are as confusing to them as they are to you. But don't completely abandon hope when it comes to seeking help from the opposite sex -- just be aware of your source. Women may not be able to single-handedly secure you a win in the dating wars with their advice, but they might be able to at least provide you a detailed map of the enemy camps. (Another bit of advice: Don't refer to women as “the enemy.") Over and out!
Askmen.com