Yes, it's that time once again: The day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen.com readers.
This week's Q&A focuses on being an effective online dater, putting an end to Wussy behavior, and telling a woman your true feelings. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
I want to meet women online, but how can I stand out from the millions of others guys on the dating site?
The internet is SUCH a great place to apply and practice what you're learning.
I can’t tell you how much I've learned by chatting with women on instant messaging services.
In fact, if it wasn't for the internet and being able to practice in this way, it would have taken me a LOT longer to figure out a lot of the things that I now use and teach.
And, of all the places to REALLY STAND OUT... when you respond to a woman's personal ad with a great Cocky & Funny note, it's like a breath of fresh air.
Or when you IM a woman and say, "It says here that you're an actress. What, you couldn't get a real job?"...
It sets you apart INSTANTLY from all the loser guys who are saying, "Hi, you're really pretty. Can I take you out on a date?"
Try it for yourself…
How can a guy keep from regressing back to his old Wussy behavior after initial success?
THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION!
The way to not "regress into Wuss behavior after initial success" is...
1- Have a life.
Stay busy. Spend time on your own. Do things with friends that don't involve the woman you're dating.
Too many guys will meet a woman, then basically say in one way or another to her: "You are my everything now, and I will do whatever I have to do to please you and spend time with you."
Big mistake.
If you stay busy, and keep your own life going, it will make you MORE attractive.
You've probably heard me say "Give her the gift of missing you," and this is one good way to do it.
It also keeps your head on straight, and makes you remember that you have a life, and you can enjoy yourself any time you want without her.
2- Don't get mushy too often.
Use romance as a spice, not a main dish. Don't buy her things all the time (if at all).
Don't say too many "mushy" things, either.
The key here is to only show your "sensitive" side once in a while, and to NEVER let that side of you take over and prevent you from acting like a man. Women aren't ATTRACTED to Wussy behavior... so don't do it.
3- YOU be the one to end the interactions with her.
End phone calls, dates, etc. with her on a high note, and always end them a little too soon.
Most guys act clingy and keep holding on to a woman when talking, on a date, etc.
Let's say you're talking to her on the phone for a few minutes and you're having a GREAT conversation.
End it.
Say: "Great, I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow."
Leave her always wanting more.
This is one way that you can continually demonstrate to yourself that you can stay in control of yourself...
AND NOT TURN INTO A WUSSY.
If you DO start acting like a Wuss, STOP IMMEDIATELY.
Old proverb: No matter how far down the wrong road you've gone, TURN BACK.
But turn back before it's too late, because once a woman has you in the Mental Wussy Slot, it's hard to get out -- and even worse, it's REALLY hard to get a woman who once felt ATTRACTION for you to feel it again after you've had a Wussy Spaz Attack.
If a guy really likes a girl after a couple of dates, is it OK to tell her how you’re feeling about her?
Too often, we men find a particularly interesting woman and then come to the logical conclusion that we should probably share how we're feeling about her... with her.
Unfortunately, while we think we're saying, "I really like you and think you're a special girl," what she's actually hearing is, "I am a Wuss, I feel like you're too good for me, I'll do whatever you want, I'm no longer a challenge, and you can predict how I'm going to act from now until you decide that you're tired of me..."
I know, sounds harsh. But this is all too often the reality of the situation.
If you make the mistake of telling a girl you met recently how you feel about her -- and she starts “backing off” -- the best thing you can do is get on with your life, and don't call her anymore. And if she decides to call you sometime, turn the tables around -- start playing hard to get and NEVER ACT LIKE A WUSS AGAIN, PLEASE.