AM Rule Refresher: Meet Her

For many men, meeting women is the most difficult part of the dating process. The good news is this: It doesn't have to be that way. Our AM Rule Refresher will show you how to meet her, greet her, and make her want to date you in a few easy steps. We're taking a few pages out of The Guy's Guide to Romance to provide you with the tools necessary for introducing yourself to any woman, anywhere. Walking up to a girl and telling her your name -- as intimidating as that may seem -- is only the first phase of the introduction process. Our rule refresher will also tell you what to do after shaking hands, providing you with tips on how to break the ice, read her body language, and get her phone number.

Overcoming your fear of rejection

If you want to meet more women, you must first get over your fear of rejection. Paradoxically, the only way to get over your fear of rejection is to start getting rejected. The fear of rejection won’t wear off until the day you decide to overcome it. It's going to take some guts, but that first night you go out to a bar and start introducing yourself to women, that night when you get shot down, laughed at and ignored, will do you a world of good. You'll develop a thick skin, and you'll realize that rejection is really no big deal. Why should you care about the opinion of a woman who doesn't know anything about you?


Icebreakers are essential to getting the conversation going. The main objective is to be bold and blunt without being rude or corny. Being direct and confident is the quickest way into a woman's heart (and her bedroom). Always ask open-ended questions -- the hardest part of using an icebreaker is employing it to start a conversation that doesn't end thirty seconds after it's begun. So avoid questions that can be answered with a "yes" or a "no." Stay away from questions like "Do you like your job?" Instead substitute a question like "What's the best thing about your job?" See how that works?

Read a woman's body language

Paying attention and observing body language is key to meeting women. A man who knows this will always have an easier time making conversation and attracting women. For example, if you notice the woman you're talking to is tapping objects or tightening things, it's a clear sign that she's not attracted to you. Best to excuse yourself politely and move on to your next target.

Alternatively, if you notice her leaning towards you or tilting her head, you can be certain that she's receptive to your advances and interested in what you have to say.

Always get her phone number

The Guy's Guide to Romance covers the nine rules you must employ in order to get her digits once you meet her. (Yes, there are nine.) For example: Be unprepared. The last thing you want to do when a woman offers you her number is to pull a pen and pad out of your pocket. You don't want to look like you had the whole thing planned out. Instead, ask the bartender if you can borrow a pen, grab a clean napkin and get your new friend to write down her number.

Golden rules for phone calls

The meet and greet process doesn't end when the two of you say goodnight. Getting the second contact right is almost as important as the first impression. Don't think of a phone call as an opportunity to get to know her better. Instead think of your call as a means of keeping her intrigued.

Remember to keep phone conversations short. You want to leave her wanting more. Just as importantly, always be positive on the phone and in casual conversation. Complaints are a real turnoff, especially in the early stages of getting to know each other. You can avoid looking needy by keeping your emotional baggage to yourself. That means don't complain about your boss or the weather. Be as upbeat and enthusiastic as possible.


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