All relationships require maintenance. Of course, different relationships require different types of maintenance, and some will require more time and attention than others. A relationship in trouble, for example, will need carefully tailored maintenance and consistent effort in order to repair it. However, if things are moving along generally smoothly in your relationship and you’d like to keep it that way, there are a few easy and efficient ways to grease the wheels with your lady without keeping you constantly occupied.
Before we begin to explore these instructions for a pain-free relationship, a special note: It’s necessary to control the frequency and timing of these maintenance tips. After all, if you employ them too often, you’ll come off as insincere and flaky. Nonetheless, their use should be familiar and natural to you. Generally, a happy relationship should stay that way so long as you both feel respected and cared for. Below are a few quick and painless tips to keep your situation with the lady shipshape.
1- Compliment her with sincerity
Giving her a sincere compliment means that when she comes into the room and your heart (or heart rate) skips a beat, you should let her know. Tell her that she’s looking good and that she still does it for you in all the right ways (assuming that this is the case). Or, tell her that her recent promotion at work was well-deserved, and that her boss is lucky to have her. These types of compliments are not over-the-top or excessively mushy, but they make her feel special and appreciated. Giving her such verbal assurances will help put her at ease and make her more relaxed around you since she won’t have to guess your sentiments. Knowing how you feel will boost her confidence, and because you’re responsible for the improvement in her mood, you should be rightly thanked for it.
2- Fulfill one of her nagging requests
You know that thing that she consistently asks you to do -- be it trimming that beard a little closer or taking her out for a nice dinner -- and you always neglect to do it? Well, if you get up and do it, and do it consistently, she’ll notice and she’ll appreciate it. Doing such good deeds doesn’t take much more effort than a little mindfulness, and they will keep her singing your praises. Not only will you be doing things that she likes, but you’ll be doing what she has asked, which is where the secret power of this maintenance tip is hiding. Doing things that she has requested will show her that you’ve actually been listening to her and not just to your sports recaps. Pick a few of her favorite wishes and try them out.
3- Surprise her
Just the little romantic gestures can make a very big difference to a relationship. If you know that she has had a long day, grab some coffee from the cafe she loves so much. If you’re at the grocery store, pick up her favorite ice cream. The little gift doesn’t need to be expensive or extravagant to please her, you just need to preemptively consider what she’ll want, and try to give it to her. Pick things that are personalized to her tastes, emphasizing your intimate knowledge of her likes and dislikes. Behaving this way will make her especially happy when she receives your little tokens, and it will also show how special you think those little details are.
4- Choose her over the boys
Let's face it: Many men get very touchy about giving up their night out with the boys. Your girl knows that this time is important to you, and most girls will give you the space to enjoy it. However, it is important that you recognize your girl as a priority in your life. This means that you’ll have to occasionally promise her a movie night at home, and skip going out with the boys. A little goes a long way with this, so make sure she recognizes a visible sacrifice on her behalf. Because this might not always be obvious to her, it might be worthwhile to subtly bring it to her attention. Also, stay very clear of any hint of remorse on the decision; let her know that the boys were doing their thing, but you wanted to spend a little quality time with her.
5- Write her a note
The written word often packs a punch that a verbal message can’t match. Little notes and messages give her visible proof and little keepsakes of your feelings, something she doesn't receive that often. These don’t have to be sappy love notes to do the trick. Write a personal message inside a card on Valentine’s Day instead of just signing it or leave a little note if you’ve dropped by her apartment. Even a little text message letting her know that she’s on your mind can boost her day. Sign off with a little romantic gesture, such as with “yours” or “kisses” instead of “see ya later,” as though she were one of the guys. Little written reminders that you’re thinking of her will have a great deal of impact.
6- Hang out
Sometimes the big events, special as they are, are not where your relationship is solidified. Make the effort to simply share time together: having movie night or bonding as you both yell at reality television will make the two of you feel as though you share more than popcorn at the movies. Spending some downtime together is a good way to keep a healthy handle on your identity as a couple, so that when you’re among friends the bond remains tight.