Long-Distance Love: Keep Things Spicy When You're Apart

Whether you're a military wife, or one of you travels extensively for business, keeping a relationship strong and stimulating long-distance isn't easy. And then there's your long-distance sex life. What sex life, you ask? Believe it or not, with forethought, a little imagination and a lot of naughtiness, it can be done. Here's how:


While You're Apart

  • Keep your libido topped up.

    Stop having sex, and you'll stop wanting sex. The more you masturbate when your partner's gone, the more you'll feel like having sex when you're together. Regular orgasms also keep your genitals lubricated and elastic—which means you won't get sore when you're suddenly thrust (literally) into the sex marathon that usually happens when you finally do see each other.

  • Use erotica for masturbation.

    Go online and Google "free porn," and you'll find an absolute flesh feast of porn to choose from. [There's even woman-friendly porn.] If porn's not your thing, written erotica might be. Dip into a classic D.H. Lawrence or give Nancy Friday or Black Lace a whirl. Others you might like? Try The Naughty Bits by Jack Murnighan for the steamiest, most scandalous sex scenes from the world's best books—or Full Frontal Fiction, a collection of short, sassy, modern stories
  • What if you want to talk dirty, but you feel too shy to do it "live"?

    Write out a sexy scenario, borrow one from a magazine or find a sexy passage in a saucy book. Then call your guy's cell phone when you know he won't pick up and read it out loud as a voicemail. You could also write a sexy e-mail, text or IM. Or, if you're feeling extra-brave, try calling him at work when he can't answer back and tell him (in a stress-free one or two sentences) exactly what you've been up to that day... that is to say, lying around in lingerie (naturally)... but then hang up. Remember: Men are very visual.

  • Feeling a little exhibitionistic?
    Check out Web cams. Google "Web cam sex," and you'll see that there are loads of sites where you can make your own porn—live. Now, I'd strongly suggest that you be very, very careful with this one. What I'm suggesting is more a sneak preview than an I-can-see-what-you-had-for-breakfast type of porn. Just join the site, set up the Web cam, send a sexy text message to your partner to link him to the site and then give him the shock of his life when he sees you on screen. You don't have to do much other than sit on the bed, look sexy (pretend you're not aware the camera is on), then get up and take your top off to reveal a sexy push-up bra. It's up to his imagination where you've gone (a cold shower or solo sex). The thrill is simply seeing a "good girl" like you in such a "naughty" environment. You could probably sit there knitting if you wanted to! (I bet you won't want to though: Exhibitionism and voyeurism are the main themes in 80 percent of sexual fantasies.)


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