stress and relationship problems

Does stress cause relationship problems?

Problems in your relationship can cause an enormous amount of stress, either through a drip-drip effect or a crisis, such as an affair.  Avoiding issues that are causing stress for either or both of you may seem a solution, but would ultimately result in fuelling relationship problems. 
stress from sources outside of the relationship will affect the way that you feel, think and behave and may cause relationship problems in itself

Is your partner able/willing to support you

Your partner may be able to provide you with the support you need, if so, tell your partner how much you appreciate their support, but be sure to take responsibility for your won recovery. Suffering from stress long-term may come at a cost, so do keep the channels of communication open.
If your partner does not appear to be able to support, it could because that their own well-being is not good, perhaps there are adverse family circumstances, stress at work, or maybe there were pre-existing problems and/or your relationship is already in decline.

How do I make a start getting better?

It helps if you can take responsibility for how you are feeling - if you continue to do what you have always done, things are unlikely to change for the better long-term. If you blame other people or 'the situation' than you might get trapped into feeling helpless - you are wasting precious energy on things you have no control over. From the moment you accept personal responsibility you are back in the driving seat, whatever the circumstances, as you ultimately only have control over yourself

What else can I do to help myself?

If you are stressed:

accept that your partner cannot read your mind!
tell him/her what the problem is (visit other relationship pages).
visit the page on stress and anxiety to learn more
educate yourself - understanding what you are dealing with helps
engage in meaningful activities keeping you attention on the task
pay 100 % attention to your worries once or twice a day only
write down your thoughts in 'never to be sent letters', mind maps, flow charts, etc. during that time, this will help you to be more objective

How can I help my partner to cope with stress?

Encourage him/her to do the above
that your partner is going to react and solve problems differently than you would, even if you don't like or understand it!
Do state clearly if something is really unacceptable to you
Act like a sounding board and refrain from making judgements
Only give advice when asked for
Accept that your partner's time scale may be different from yours

How can we turn things around?

Talk about what you both have, and have achieved in all areas of your life.  Write it all down and do not judge: this is your starting block (including 'ordinary' every day achievements).
Decide what you are going to do to build on that
Break your goals down into small steps
Ask for help if necessary

What can be done to prevent stress?

Psychological health depends to a large extend on whether we can have our most basic needs met in balance, by appropriately using our innate resources. Adopting a pro-active approach to our psychological well-being will help to lower stress levels.

What can be done to prevent stress

stress can lead to symptoms of anxiety, both are often much reduced after just a few sessions with a qualified human givens therapist. Phobias and traumas can be treated in just a couple of sessions using a safe and non-intrusive technique.
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