Do you find it hard to resolve issues, particularly with your spouse or significant other? Arguing a point leads to anger, resentment and a lot of times a break up. Here are some steps you can do to resolve problems. It takes two to fight, so if one person isn’t, you are closer to a peaceful household.
- Step 1
SCHEDULE THE RIGHT TIME.
There is a time and a place for everything and that includes resolving issues. A time to speak may not be best found when in the climax of an emotion. Nor should an issue be ignored, in hopes that it will never resurface. The best thing to do is pick a time that works well for both parties and talk about it. It is advantageous to clear up such matters before 24 hours pass. One good idea is to have a regularly scheduled time each week where you sit and talk about issues. Perhaps a couple of hours after dinner or after a good night sleep and you are having your morning meal. It should be a time where you both are experiencing minimal stress. - Step 2
BE OPEN AND HONEST WHEN CONVERSING:
Your spouse should be your best friend. They however are not telepathic. They do now just understand you. You must explain yourself. If you hear yourself yelling all the time for your wife to pick up after herself then perhaps you should let it be known that you are annoyed by their untidiness and you feel they are taking your need for neatness for granted as you are constantly picking up after them. This isn’t about who’s right or wrong, it’s about expressing yourself and working out solutions tactfully. - Step 3
SYMPATHIZE AND EMPATHIZE:
Listening is vital. A game teachers play with youngsters to teach them not to talk over each other is that of using a talking stick. When one is holding the talking stick they are the only one that can talk and the other person must listen attentively. When you are listening, you are not presuming on what they are saying or feeling, or even thinking up your response. Your are making sure you get the words and the sentiment behind the words correct. When they have finished talking, ask questions to be certain you are understanding. - Step 4
COMPROMISE:
There generally are more that one way to resolve most issues. When you work together you may find a combination of things that will work to resolve an issue. Write them down if you have to and see which ones will work for your different personalities. Later you may want to come back and see what works and adjust want doesn’t.
The key to solving problems is communication and compromise not arguing and running away. When you commit to a relationship
, then you always pull together not rip each other apart.
