Yes, it's that time once again: The day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen.com readers.
This week's Q&A focuses on keeping her interested by withholding the compliments. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
I met a lady and was Cocky & Funny, but I was too forward about sex and she blew me off. The next time I met her, I said "I only want to be friends," then I gave her a foot, leg and a head rub. She allowed me to continue this as I explained why we could only be friends. I later gave her the Kiss Test and it was fireworks from there. My question is: Why did telling her I only wanted to be friends totally change how she reacted to me?
Oh, don't get me started on why reverse psychology works with women.
Here's a little insight for you: Women don't generally take anything at face value; they are always trying to figure out what everything "means."
In other words, if you say, "You're beautiful," a woman might think, "What he REALLY means is that he wants to get into my pants."
If you say, "I just want to be friends," a woman might think, "What he REALLY means is that he's not attracted to me. Maybe there's something wrong here because most men fall all over themselves. Maybe I don't look good today. Maybe I'm losing my beauty. Oh yeah? I'll show him... I'm going to MAKE him feel attracted to me!" Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
In the land of female perception and interpretation, things are strange. But if you can get it through your head to stop trying to communicate directly and explicitly most of the time, you'll do much better all the way around.
I’ve been reading your e-mails and I have been applying some of it and I have found that most of it works. That is great and all, but I really don't like being Cocky & Funny; I just like being my sweet self. I like complimenting left and right.
What I want know is why do women like it when a guy is a little rude or just plain "full of himself." And another thing: Why is it that when a woman starts complaining about her man she says she wants a sweet and sensitive guy who respects her feelings? Because, in reality, she doesn't. It really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
With all due respect, please do all the women you're meeting a couple of favors:
1- Stop "complimenting left and right."
2- Stop being "your sweet self" -- unless, of course, you look like Brad Pitt
or have over $10 million dollars. In these cases, do whatever you want.
For the first several interactions with a woman (through the first 10 dates or so), don't act like a Wussy!
When you act like a Wussy and give lots of compliments, you are doing what 98% of all the other guys she's meeting are doing. You're being average. You're boring. You're coming across as fake and weak.
If you want to know why it is that women are attracted to jerks, read my book or get one of my CD or DVD programs. The short answer is: Women can't help you. They come wired at birth to respond to many of the behaviors that many jerks display. I believe that you can create ATTRACTION inside of a woman by doing some of the things that jerks do WITHOUT the abusive part.
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