Ten traits that make a great girlfriend

Ever wondered what blokes talk about when we're not around? Here's your chance to eavesdrop. iVillage and AskMen.com have joined forces to reveal what's really on men's minds - and just how bluntly they discuss it

It's got to be said that playing the field is a whole lot of fun, but so is being in a serious relationship - provided that it's with the right woman. But how does he know if she really is the right woman for him? If she possesses the following ten traits, he'd better hold on to her for dear life or, before he knows it, a man who already knows where it's at will get his hands on their 'goods.'

1. She makes him want to be a better man
Stop making that face... any man who has a great girlfriend or wife will tell her that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn't have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If he suddenly feels bad about how he treated her sister or finds himself trying to get his finances in order, he might want to think about his motivation for doing so. It could be love.

2. She loves him
If he has found a woman who loves him for who he really is and not who he pretends or try to be sometimes, he should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn't try to change him is hard to find. Of course, everyone has their slightly annoying habits that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves him, she will be able to cope with these.

Another way to know if she really loves him is by observing the way she looks at him and treats him on an everyday basis. If the sight of him doesn't seem to faze her either way, and she doesn't really seem to care about what he has to say, she's either playing very hard to get, or sees him as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from him makes her light up, there's no denying that she loves him.

3. She gets along with friends and family
A great girlfriend will not only help his mum in the kitchen, listen to his dad's stories and hang out with his friends, but she will enjoy it. She'll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in his life. And she won't try to get him to ditch his best buds.

She'll actually empathise with his brother being dumped and suggest that they take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but his friends won't roll their eyes and moan when he mentions that she'll be joining them when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).

4. She's nagless
There is nothing worse than a nag! A great girlfriend knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak up and when to let it slide. He doesn't want a girlfriend who will give him hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.

However, if they live together and he stays out all night without calling her, and she lets him have it, then he's setting himself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide not even a great girlfriend.

5. She lets him be a man
It is vital that he doesn't get involved with a woman who tries to get him to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that he give up his poker night with the lads. He will end up resenting her more than he can imagine. A good girlfriend lets him be a bloke in all his glory, poker night and all. If she's a great girlfriend, she'll even bring him and his mates a couple of beers and make them some of her famous sandwiches.

She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow him to be himself. Just like he wouldn't deprive her of going shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn't expect him to give up the guys for her.

6. She respects him
This is a biggie. His woman must respect him. This means that she listens to him, even if she doesn't necessarily agree with what he's saying. And, of course, she never tries to demean or belittle him in any way, shape or form.

A great girlfriend won't ever cause scenes in public or in front of his friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with him in private. If she respects him, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

7. She's beautiful
I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want to look good for him, but also for herself. She should always look her best and be well put together - matching lingerie is a definite plus.

He has to be proud to have her on his arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn't mean that she has to be a Heidi Klum clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if he thinks her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, he's allowed.

8. She's sexual
While we're on the topic, a great girlfriend has to be sexually compatible with him. For instance, if he's into S&M and she's more the 'fluffy lingerie' type, that's a problem. The two of them have to be on the same page - or, at least, she has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time.

Of course, this doesn't imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that he and she have an undeniable attraction towards each other, and are able to communicate their desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that they please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer whatever the case may be.

9. She's intelligent
Everyone knows that the bimbo routine gets really old, really fast. Instead of being the one in total control, he'll find himself trying to figure out what she's really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers - or if she's actually thinking at all.

An intelligent woman will constantly surprise him and keep him on his toes. She won't let him get bored of her. Besides, it's nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.

10. She's independent
No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she's had a rough day at work, it's great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can't seem to function without him and is constantly after him, she will eventually make him feel like he's suffocating, which is a surefire way to get him running out the nearest exit.

On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from him - while still missing him, of course - then she must be a great girlfriend.


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