QUESTION: My husband was promoted to a management job at work recently and he's become stressed as some colleagues resent him for going over to the other side. He has also been working overtime to make a good impression on his bosses.
This has hit our sex life. He says he's too tired and no good at sex any more as he can't get an erection. He's been sleeping in the spare room to avoid me.
The extra money in his pay packet is no compensation for all the bad things happening in our relationship. I want my old husband back. What can I do?
ANSWER: There's a lot of pressure on your husband to prove himself, especially as he feels out on a limb with his colleagues. Letting the desire to succeed rule his life is unwise but nothing will change until he's settled into the job and is feeling more secure.
He needs a healthy, balanced life before he can regain a healthy sex life.
To help him get back on track, don't nag about the sex.
Right now he feels he's fighting on all fronts. Make his home his castle. Give him lots of attention and affection. Learn how to channel his thoughts and get his mind off work.
Offer to give him a massage to relieve the stress. This kind of physical but nonsexual activity is very good for increasing intimacy.