When a couple finds that their marriage is going into meltdown, it must be very tempting to simply stop trying to make their relationship work and call it a day. It can feel like no gains are made despite all the efforts you make.
Divorces are happening now more than ever and are easily accessible for relationships in turmoil.
Not so long ago, ending your marriage like this would have been inconceivable for most. Needless to say, there are many cases where separation is the most sensible option; it isn't uncommon to see two people who have stayed together only to have a relationship which is devoid of love and passion.
Unfortunately, you may be trying to make a relationship work that simply isn't meant to be. It is difficult, but important to acknowledge this possibility and honestly assess if this is the case for you. Doing so will potentially prevent you from staying in marriage that has no benefit for either of you.
It can seem like even more of a challenge if you are the only one who wants to make things between you work. This may be because your partner fails to recognise that there is a problem in the first place.
It is important to recognise that trying to point this out to them will not make the situation any healthier. All that will likely happen is more arguments, confrontation and distancing. Instead, you should lead by example; be pleasant and polite, thoughtful and caring. Over time, this will compel your spouse to treat you in the same fashion.
In order to overcome this roadblock in your relationship, it is necessary to establish the problems that lay within it. These may be obvious, but it is likely that there are some which you haven't considered. You can find out what these are by being observant of how you interact and behave with one another. For example, do you both take time to ask each other how you're doing? Do you treat each other with respect at all times? Do you do things with your partner in mind?
I t shouldn't take much questioning to see where the weaknesses are. As well as this, listen to what your partner has to say. Don't allow any discussion that you have to turn into a confrontation. Acknowledge issues that they have and take them on board as best you can.
Make an effort to improve on the issues which you have discussed. This won't go unnoticed and will demonstrate to your partner just how much you care about them and your marriage.
You may have past experiences which continue to be an issue for your relationship. It is essential that they are resolved between so that you can move on. Not doing so will prevent any progression and allow those negative times to set the tone for you relationship. Talk sincerely and openly with your partner about these issues and together commit to dealing with them. Recognise that continuing to bring them up will not only fail to help the situation, but will actually be counter-productive.
Saving your marriage alone can seem like a monumental task but don't let yourself think this way. Instead, work on yourself and improve the way you are as a husband or wife and how you treat your partner. In time, they too will do the same and recognise how much your relationship is worth it.
Jonathon Stevens is a relationship expert. For more great information on save your marriage alone, visit http://www.revitaliseyourmarriage.com.
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Source: Ezine