So, you’ve been dumped. It’s a part of life and it's one that never gets any easier. One minute you’re riding a relationship that’s ascending like a rocket and the next your self-esteem is scattered across the countryside.
When this unfortunate turn of events takes place, and after you've sufficiently grieved over your loss, you are going to find yourself with a lot more free time and a lot more time to think. A decision or activity that used to take hours, say dinner, is reduced to a matter of minutes in front of a microwave oven.
What you need are post-breakup distractions, and there are plenty out there. While you may be tempted to get smashed and hook up with a new rebound girl every night, this is not a long-term solution. To do so is to be unhealthy to both your psyche and your liver.
What you need is substantive, regular and reliable life-affirming activities (aka, post-breakup distractions) to get your life in order.
Learn a new physical activity
In the wake of a recent breakup, you’re going to be filled with pent-up energy that's screaming to get out. Getting back to the gym may seem like the perfect outlet, and it may be just that, but you have to go with the right attitude. Doing an extra set on the bench isn’t going to be enough. Merely exhausting yourself won’t cut it either. Instead, develop a new physical skill.
Surely there are items on your proverbial to-do list that haven’t been checked off yet. This is a perfect time to learn a martial art or take up rock climbing as the ideal post-breakup distraction. Even something like getting your motorcycle license will not only allow you to physically blow off some steam, but by accomplishing something you’ll do a great deal toward regaining and rebuilding your confidence.
Guys' night
Relationships have a tendency to atrophy aspects of your social life that you used to love. They become weak and wither away without you even noticing. Guys' night is one such aspect, and is a great post-breakup distraction. She never liked your friends and thought you were above them. Guess what, you weren’t. Your friends have an enormous influence on you and will be there for you when she blows your world apart. Now that you’re left to pick up the pieces, refocus your priorities.
Try and make guys' night a regular occurrence. A weekly poker night, trip to the bar or pool hall adds some stability to your life. Plus, hanging out with the guys on a regular basis again will thicken your skin via the constant ribbing, and your friends will reintroduce you to a little skill called networking. You’ve been out of the pride for a while, so you’ll want to retrain your hunting skills.
Get away
When you’re in a relationship, even for a short period of time, familiar surroundings become associated with your now ex-girlfriend. Think about getting out of your set routine and change your surroundings.
Take a buddy and hit up a new city. Go to new bars and hit on new, presumably more exotic women. Even if you can only get away for a weekend of camping, do it. In the grand scheme of things, the change of surroundings will give you some new perspective and put your problems in their proper place.
Reconnect with old friends
The last time you scrolled through the phone book on your cell phone you probably noticed more than a few names that haven’t been dialed in a very long time; now you have the time call up some old friends you haven’t seen in a while. People just lose touch when a relationship eats up the vast majority of their free time -- and most people understand this.
Getting back in touch with old friends allows you to move and shake in entirely new social circles or at least ones you haven’t frequented in a while, which is a bang-on perfect post-breakup distraction.
Start something new
A relationship becomes the status quo in your life. When the relationship ends, a litany of possible projects present themselves to you. Seize the opportunity to embark on some post-breakup distractions and make some changes that reinvent who you are.
Sign up for a course online, at the local community college or at a nearby university. Take something that’s relevant to your job and can help secure higher pay in the future. Employers often cite education as a key factor in any employee’s potential growth.
Start writing that novel that’s been kicking around inside your head for years. Without the time constraints of a relationship, you finally have time to really create something new in the world.
Learn a new skill like motorcycle repair or piano tuning. This time of post-breakup distractions is a golden opportunity to redefine who you are going to be in the world. Look upon this chance as a new beginning instead of an end.