Something low-cut may catch a dude's eye, but you need to appeal to his subconscious to make him approach you. Utilize these techniques and you'll reel 'em in...then pick who you want and toss back the others.
Photo: Tamara Schlesinger
When you’re gearing up for a night out, you probably have a pretty standard checklist: Sexy top? Clearly. Killer pair of heels? Obvs. But there’s a big difference between a guy checking you out and a guy who can’t resist your spell.
That’s why some new research being done on attraction is so intriguing — it offers subtle, novel strategies for not only grabbing attention but also inspiring plenty of introductions and phone-number exchanges. Get ready to work your come-and-meet-me voodoo by tapping in to the way dudes’ brains work.
1. Don’t Disregard the Basics
Even the best ninja-level seduction tricks will be useless if you don’t practice good fundamentals. You may have heard of, or even used, these maneuvers before, but their success makes them worth repeating. For starters, always keep your group of girls nice and small. “It’s ideal to go out with just one or two other friends,” says relationship expert Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz. “If you’re with a larger group, pair off for 30-minute intervals to give guys the opportunity to come up to you.”
Choose your wingwomen wisely — you want to be surrounded by friends who are outgoing and don’t need to be babysat — and avoid standing so that your shoulders are squared toward each other; physical openness will send the message that you’re okay with being approached and not engrossed in an intimate convo. Be sure to plant yourselves in a high-traffic area near the center of the room...but never near an exit. You may get noticed there, but dudes who constantly eyeball the door are likely to be always looking for the next best thing.
That’s why some new research being done on attraction is so intriguing — it offers subtle, novel strategies for not only grabbing attention but also inspiring plenty of introductions and phone-number exchanges. Get ready to work your come-and-meet-me voodoo by tapping in to the way dudes’ brains work.
1. Don’t Disregard the Basics
Even the best ninja-level seduction tricks will be useless if you don’t practice good fundamentals. You may have heard of, or even used, these maneuvers before, but their success makes them worth repeating. For starters, always keep your group of girls nice and small. “It’s ideal to go out with just one or two other friends,” says relationship expert Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz. “If you’re with a larger group, pair off for 30-minute intervals to give guys the opportunity to come up to you.”
Choose your wingwomen wisely — you want to be surrounded by friends who are outgoing and don’t need to be babysat — and avoid standing so that your shoulders are squared toward each other; physical openness will send the message that you’re okay with being approached and not engrossed in an intimate convo. Be sure to plant yourselves in a high-traffic area near the center of the room...but never near an exit. You may get noticed there, but dudes who constantly eyeball the door are likely to be always looking for the next best thing.
2. Show Off Your Neck and Shoulders
Now on to more stealthy tactics. It’s certainly no secret that men are visual creatures. However, it turns out that convincing a guy to approach is far more complex than simply undoing an extra button. “It has less to do with displaying lots of cleavage and more to do with flaunting your shoulders,” says David Givens, PhD, author of Love Signals.
While men are evolutionarily attracted to both bare skin and soft, round shapes (duh), they also have a more developed subconscious that equates boobs spilling out of a too-tight dress with desperation. So opt for a slightly more discreet body-skimming halter or tube top to give off a confident, sexy vibe.
A bonus tip: Be sure to draw attention to your neck dimple — the little indentation beneath your throat and just above your clavicle — with an eye-catching necklace. Research shows that this often overlooked area is alluring to men because it represents femininity and vulnerability.
3. Use Your Drink as a Seduction Prop
A drink can be a great tool if handled correctly — as a conversation piece or to clink glasses with him flirtatiously. Just avoid using it as a security blanket. “Cradling a drink in front of you puts up a subtle barrier,” says body-language expert Greg Hartley, coauthor of I Can Read You Like a Book. “It shows discomfort when you’re fiddling with your straw or a bottle label.” To avoid looking like a stressball with lipstick, set down your vodka on the bar or a nearby table now and then to use your hands while telling an especially funny story to a friend — it broadcasts your energy, which is superattractive.
Now on to more stealthy tactics. It’s certainly no secret that men are visual creatures. However, it turns out that convincing a guy to approach is far more complex than simply undoing an extra button. “It has less to do with displaying lots of cleavage and more to do with flaunting your shoulders,” says David Givens, PhD, author of Love Signals.
While men are evolutionarily attracted to both bare skin and soft, round shapes (duh), they also have a more developed subconscious that equates boobs spilling out of a too-tight dress with desperation. So opt for a slightly more discreet body-skimming halter or tube top to give off a confident, sexy vibe.
A bonus tip: Be sure to draw attention to your neck dimple — the little indentation beneath your throat and just above your clavicle — with an eye-catching necklace. Research shows that this often overlooked area is alluring to men because it represents femininity and vulnerability.
3. Use Your Drink as a Seduction Prop
A drink can be a great tool if handled correctly — as a conversation piece or to clink glasses with him flirtatiously. Just avoid using it as a security blanket. “Cradling a drink in front of you puts up a subtle barrier,” says body-language expert Greg Hartley, coauthor of I Can Read You Like a Book. “It shows discomfort when you’re fiddling with your straw or a bottle label.” To avoid looking like a stressball with lipstick, set down your vodka on the bar or a nearby table now and then to use your hands while telling an especially funny story to a friend — it broadcasts your energy, which is superattractive.
4. Subtly Show Off Your Lower Half
Most men won’t appreciate your killer pair of designer heels — well, most straight guys, anyway — but strategically encouraging them to bring their focus downward will still work wonders to lure them over. “When you’re seated on a banquette or bar stool, try crossing and uncrossing your legs every minute or two,” says body-language expert Janine Driver. “It’s a flirtatious action that draws attention to a body part that men crave touching.”
Another trick: While one of your legs is crossed over the other, dangle your shoe from your toes so that it’s half off your foot. Not only does this action indicate that you’re unlikely to bolt if he approaches you, but it also suggests that you’re extremely relaxed and self-assured.
5. Put on Your Best Game Face
It’s not enough just to stand there and look gorgeous. You also have to flash some fierce and flirty looks. “We’re finding that men need a whole lot more coaxing than you’d think,” explains Ann Demarais, PhD, coauthor of First Impressions. “You have to send a pretty strong message that you’d be receptive to the guy if he actually came over to talk to you.”
Always smile — sultry stares will backfire — and try this sneaky tactic to make him think he already knows you: “Flash both brows upward for a half-second and then drop them quickly,” suggests Hartley. “An eyebrow raise is a form of recognition, so you’ll have him scanning his mental database to figure out your connection and when he may have met you.”
In other words, his incentive to make a trek across the room is now twofold: He’s sure you took notice of him, so he’ll be encouraged by the flattery. Plus, he’ll be able to break the ice by asking if you know each other — without coming off like a cheese ball.
Most men won’t appreciate your killer pair of designer heels — well, most straight guys, anyway — but strategically encouraging them to bring their focus downward will still work wonders to lure them over. “When you’re seated on a banquette or bar stool, try crossing and uncrossing your legs every minute or two,” says body-language expert Janine Driver. “It’s a flirtatious action that draws attention to a body part that men crave touching.”
Another trick: While one of your legs is crossed over the other, dangle your shoe from your toes so that it’s half off your foot. Not only does this action indicate that you’re unlikely to bolt if he approaches you, but it also suggests that you’re extremely relaxed and self-assured.
5. Put on Your Best Game Face
It’s not enough just to stand there and look gorgeous. You also have to flash some fierce and flirty looks. “We’re finding that men need a whole lot more coaxing than you’d think,” explains Ann Demarais, PhD, coauthor of First Impressions. “You have to send a pretty strong message that you’d be receptive to the guy if he actually came over to talk to you.”
Always smile — sultry stares will backfire — and try this sneaky tactic to make him think he already knows you: “Flash both brows upward for a half-second and then drop them quickly,” suggests Hartley. “An eyebrow raise is a form of recognition, so you’ll have him scanning his mental database to figure out your connection and when he may have met you.”
In other words, his incentive to make a trek across the room is now twofold: He’s sure you took notice of him, so he’ll be encouraged by the flattery. Plus, he’ll be able to break the ice by asking if you know each other — without coming off like a cheese ball.
What Not to Get Noticed For
You don’t want to be a wallflower… but you really don’t want to attract attention for any of this mortifying behavior.
Dancing like nobody’s watching — except everybody is watching because you look like a crazed baboon that’s on fire Winning the Jäger-bomb competition you’d been having with a bunch of frat guys before losing the not-puking-all-over-the-floor competition that you had been having with your stomach Cramming as many mini quiches and pigs in a blanket as possible into your clutch for a late-night snack Doing a keg stand while wearing a baby-doll dress and no panties Actually, just doing a keg stand, period Bursting into tears anytime a guy you’re talking to excuses himself to go grab another drink Screaming “Don’t you touch my man!” at any girl who’s touching any man Walking out of the bathroom with your dress tucked into your tights Flying into a homicidal rage when the bartender gives you a full-calorie beer instead of a lite beer
You don’t want to be a wallflower… but you really don’t want to attract attention for any of this mortifying behavior.