You tell your loved one that you love them and they tell you the same. But how do you really know for sure? What is it that makes a believer out of you? Is it those three magical words that everyone longs to hear, I Love You.
If all is well in your relationship you probably don't even give it a second thought. If your relationship is a little more rocky, you may question the truth behind these words. Either way it isn't really the words that make a difference, though they are nice to hear, it's the actions that speak volumes.
The story of the boy who cried wolf is a good example of what I mean. Eventually, when words don't correspond with actions the people around us stop believing. If "I Love You" doesn't match up with actions, this too will fall into the realm of skepticism.
The difference between happy couples and not so happy couples may be fairly obvious. Happy couples do more to show their love for their partner, they are more likely to recognize the efforts of their loved one and they're not as likely to misread the good intentions of their significant other. Conversely, a not so happy partner will be suspicious of nice acts(genuine or not). An unhappy partner is less motivated to engage in acts that express their love and when a partner does make a positive attempt, their partner is less likely to recognize the efforts.
If you are in a happy relationship, good for you. You can stop reading if you want, or you can print this out and give it to the unhappy couple that you most likely know. You know the one. The one that says how envious they are of your relationship and how do you do it.
If you're not as lucky to be the couple above, read on. The first thing you can do to help your relationship is to stop trying to convince your loved one that you love them through words. Take a lesson from the happy couple and mimic the nice things they do for each other. Stop reading into the efforts of your partner. If you are still together chances are they are sincerely trying to be nice. Recognize when your partner does something nice. Catching them in the act of "doing good" will encourage them to continue their efforts. This will make both of you feel good thus increasing the likelihood that the actions will continue. Frequent daily acts that show you are thinking of your partner can go a long way. Waiting until things are really bad and attempting one grand effort may result in a too little too late scenario.
This isn't to imply that you should stop saying "I love you" all together but, actions will always speak louder and truer than words.
Let me know what you acts you do as a symbol of your love.
Ken Burns
http://www.contemplativecounseling.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kenneth_R_Burns
Source: Ezine
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