Love - How Can I Love You Better?

How often do you show your partner you love them? How often do you show your kids that you love them? Do you talk about it openly? Do you know what they need to feel loved? Thich Nhat Hanh says in his book Touching Peace that we should look deeply into our loved ones eyes and say "please tell me how I can love you better." If you're a woman talking to a man I'm sure you know the nature of how he might respond. And it will most likely have to take place in the bedroom. Instead of just shrugging this off, really listen for the answer and see how you can meet your family's needs.

When I asked my husband this question his first answer was like that above. Then he had a few practical suggestions. "Support me when I have to work a lot. Help me find time to get out and play hockey. Don't ride me when I'm tired and dismissive, it's nothing personal." Wow. Is that all? But really aren't those great suggestions? Are you telling me that if I do those things you'll feel more LOVED? Then I'm in! Not a problem.

When I asked my friends they said nothing at first then they told me that I can call them more, and I can send them a holiday card. How easy is that? I would love to love them better in that way. When I asked my sister she said, "you can spend more time with me. You can support my dreams." My other sister said, "you can be more patient with me." What wonderful information for me to learn about my family.

What if we asked our kids "How can I love you better?" And really listened to the answer. They might have some great suggestions. The answers might have to do with more flexibility or more freedom and maybe that's OK. They might want to spend more time with you, and that's OK too. Or they might need you to be more patient with them or kinder with your words. But wouldn't it be great to know how you can love someone better? Why not ask them and see for yourself?

I noticed with my mom when I asked her she kept avoiding it for a long time. I had to keep asking and asking. Of course before she answered she asked me so the tables were turned. I told her, she could spend more time with me and my family, and spend more time with my son on her own. It changed immediately. She's always jumping at the chance to be with us and to watch my son. And as a result, I feel overwhelmingly loved by her! Now the question is back on her, how can I love you better? "Keep doing what you're doing, and be as happy as you can be," she said with a quiver in her voice.

So I dare you, ask your Mom, ask your sister, ask your children. Be so bold to ask your husband or wife. How can I love you better? It will only lead to more love and happier relationships. And after all, isn't that what we're striving for? Now I have one more question for you. "How can you love YOU better?"

Source: Ezine