Love - What Is Love In A Relationship?

A Chinese woman proposed to her boyfriend at Wuhan University recently. She stood on the top of his car with big signs and flowers in the middle of the car park and waited for him as a large crowd gathered. He turned her down but for a good reason. He wanted to save money so that they could afford to buy house together.

I was wondering, is this love? What does love, this crazy human bond and relationship mean to you? We go through a ritual called dating which is at times hilarious, costly and painful and so many of us never seem to learn from it.

It is not the stuff that you buy each other, not the crazy over the top stuff and the lavish wedding ceremony. I daresay it is more than having kids and growing old together.

A friend of mine (let's call her V) says," Love (is) the irrational idea that someone may actually care about you. I miss the delusions that come with it. The false hope, that no matter how you try to kill (it), (it) stubbornly remains somewhere in your heart of good things to come."

My other friend, (let's call her S) said," Love is... not presents, not sweet-nothings, not grand gestures. It's this sweet agony of waiting for your loved one, the anticipation of seeing him again, the eagerness that would have you plastering your nose to the glass (to see him at the airport)."

As for myself, well, what can I say? Countless poets, writers and philosophers, over thousands of years, have written enough to fill entire tomes and encyclopedias about this strange, terrible and, at time wondrous and indispensable emotion. What new, fresh perspective and insight that I can provide on this?

OK, so here goes: Love is a force of nature that brings two people together. They compliment each other. Yes, there is that magical first flush of love, the so-called honeymoon period. But that doesn't last forever.

No, it does not remain constant. It grows and evolves like a wine. It matures and settles down into something smoother. There will be peaks and high notes, of course but it will mellow with time.

Love causes you to reach beyond your comfort zone, to be there for your significant other in his/her hour of need. You will find that you have strength and power beyond your wildest imagining. You will be as firm as the strongest, steadiest rock when he or she are at their most vulnerable.

And simultaneously, love will make you perceptive, sensitive to things both new and old. You will find yourself opening up and noticing things as all your senses are enhanced. They were always there but you will feel like a newborn babe seeing them for the first time. You will be like a short-sighted person putting on a new pair of glasses and seeing sunsets, sunrises, flowers, photos and works of art and seeing them clearly for the first time. You will notice smells and how rich and vivid colors are. Everything that you ignored before will take on a new life and grab you by the shoulders and demand your attention.

Love is two people giving, sharing and ultimately building a life together. There will be periods of laughter, tears, fights and silence. The ultimate paradox of love is when you can't imagine spending the rest of your life with anyone else and yet you have to marshal the courage to give them freedom and independence.

So, what does love mean to you?

Yeo Han Hwee works at an education and seminar company based in Singapore. He loves films, music and good books. Han Hwee loves to travel and see the world. It is a goal of his to see all the UNSECO World heritage sites.

Han Hwee's has a blog at

Source: Ezine

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